Patience. They say you should never pray for it because it’s not something given. It has to be earned/learned. The things that teach patience are never fun. However, God’s word says in Romans 12:12, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in affliction and be persistent in prayer (CSB).” Yikes!! Patient in affliction?! I can tell you afflictions, trials and sufferings are NOT fun! To be patient through them is difficult. The Bible also says to be thankful for trials. So, we are to thank God for them and be patient through them. God is using them to mold and make us into who He created us to be. Well, I can tell you from experience it is all hard and it stinks. The only thing that keeps me going and makes it worth it is knowing God is working to make me into who I am meant to be. If not for that, I would quit and give up. I believe God has told me from the beginning of this trial I am facing to be patient and persistent in my prayers. Don’t give up! Like a runner in a race who is tired and just wants to stop, but keeps going – a little farther, a little farther, and then the race is over and the perseverance pays off. That is me. So I keep praying, keep trusting, knowing the trial will be over eventually and God will answer. Through it all, I am becoming more like Christ, I am depending on Him for everything. I know He is with me always, through it all, and when it gets too hard, He carries me. Sometimes I wonder if my prayers are working or making a difference. I read somewhere that faith moves mountains, but prayers move God. This is why I keep praying, trusting God hears and is working whether I see it or not. His ways are higher than mine, and He works in ways I can’t even imagine. I also wonder if He tires of my prayers (which are constant). Then I remember His word says to be “persistent in prayer” and to “pray without ceasing.” There are also the stories of persistence, like the neighbor who come in the night to ask for food and the persistent widow who keeps coming to the judge. So, I trudge on, being patient and persistent, knowing God will answer in His time not mine. His plan is perfect as is His timing. I am so thankful he is on the throne and in control so I don’t have to be!
Faith. Hope. Belief.
Faith. Hope. Belief. They are truly hard concepts when you are in the middle of the storm. What exactly do they mean? Faith is described in the Bible as believing in something you can’t see (Hebrews 11:1). Wouldn’t hope and belief be the same? If you hope for something, you haven’t seen it or attained it, but you believe you will. We are told to pray in accordance with God’s will and believe/have faith that He will give us what we ask (in accordance with His will is key!)(1 John 5:14-15). We are also told that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains (Matt 17:20). I have this and believe God will do a miracle in my situation. Why then do I feel like a naive little girl with her fairy-tale notions? What’s the point of praying for something to then just assume it’s crazy and not going to happen? Is this just another attack from the enemy? God doesn’t bring confusion and that’s what I feel. I believe God told me to do something, to act a certain way. It goes against what others would do. So then, I wonder if I am crazy. Did I hear God right, or did I just hear myself and what I want? It’s not easy doing what I feel led to do. But was it really God?! What people say makes sense. Prepare for the worst. Be angry. There has to be consequences. I agree, but how? When? I know God may not give me what I want and I need to be ok with that. There has to be a way to be ok with it not turning out the way I want/pray for without giving up, without losing faith that it can/will happen. Right?! Otherwise what’s the point? God is big. He can do big things. He can and does perform miracles. Storms suck and they are painful, but God has a plan. Through the storms and trials we see His faithfulness. He never leaves us. It teaches us endurance, trust, gives us character. We are becoming more like Jesus!
Life is hard but God is Good
Life is hard, unfortunately. While there are many mountaintop experiences, there are just as many (if not more) valley experiences. We need both in order to grow and become who God created us to be. I just have to say, though, that going through the valley, going through the fire, being broken…it SUCKS!! It hurts! A LOT!! I do trust God so I know I will get through it with His help and strength, and I will be better for it, stronger on the other side. But in the midst of it? IT SUCKS! It’s horrible! I know it’s a matter of keeping my focus on Jesus, on the prize, on taking one day at a time. Some days I do ok, but others I just want to crawl into bed with the covers up and cry. I pray A LOT! I need to take my thoughts captive all the time. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to help the situation. God is in control. I just have to keep giving it back to Him. Like Peter walking on water, as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus I am ok. But as soon as I take my eyes off Him, I start to panic and sink. It’s ok to feel sad and angry, but I can’t dwell there. I need to share it with God then leave it all there at the foot of the cross. He will carry me through this storm.
I am thankful because it has shown me my dependence on Him. I must rely on Him for everything. He loves me and will meet ALL my needs. All of this is so I can be used by HIm, to bring Him glory. I can help others going through tough times. Jesus is my HOPE. God continues to remind me of His unconditional love for me, how He pursued me but I didn’t really respond. I am grateful He never gave up on me, that He is always faithful, that nothing can separate me from His love!